Worldwide Sexual Assault Support Meetup Message Board › I already don't know what to do :( ANY advice?!

I already don't know what to do :( ANY advice?!

Iza
Posted Feb 25, 2007 1:36 PM
user 3807932
Katowice, PL
Post #: 1
I have an internet Lebanese friend,she's 21... She confessed she had been raped at the age of 16..I got shocked,it was apaling news...I felt as if someone had stabbed me... I thought it was that 1 time but it turned out she's been molesting by the 1 who raped her till now& that he is a cousin of her mother he is over 40, he's married and he has 4 little children... It stabbed me even more...Since I found out about it I couldn't stop thinking of it and wondering how to help and support her... I asked her to report it on police-she refused, I asked her to say about it to her sister,mother-she refused, I found on the net a Lebanese organisation LECORVAW which helps victims of any kind of abuse, I gave her the address of it, and the numbers of their hot lines-she refused to contact them... :( She has a sister so I decided to tell her about this case,I managed to contact with her this week, I told her all the story but I felt as if I was talking to the wall, 'cause she didn't understand what I was talking about,I think she doesn't know the English words "molest", "sexual harassment"..so I kept trying to explain it to her...I told her about the rape,and that he'd been forcing her sister to have sex with him for a few years...She didn't want to belive he had raped her...I felt so helpless then , I thought "For the God sake, I didn't think it up, your own sister told me about it!"...I don't know, in the end she understood most of the things I told her...But my Lebanese friend found out I told her sister about molestation and she pissed off at me, she said I had disappointed her and that I had made a big mistake... She didn't talk to me for 2 days,but then she talked, and she told me her sister wouldn't do anything 'cause she simply couldn't , she also asked me to stop remembering her about this nightmare but on the other hand she also asked me not to leave her, 'cause she needs my support...Of course I won't leave her, but I can't accept she keeps sacrificing herself in such a way :((

God, I didn't tell her sister about this case she to keep this secret unrevealed...But it seems like nothing will change :(( I was trying to convince my friend many times that this silence is her trap and that it's his power and he uses it without any scruple, and she must break this silence otherwise he'll keep molesting her every 2-3 months...She doesn't listen...I can't stand he'll keep coming and hurting her... If I was there I'd try my best to help her, I wouldn't hold my tongue 'cause this animal must be punished! But I am not able to go to Lebanon, I am here in Poland and this helplessness is driving me crazy...I already don't know what to do...
MB
Posted Mar 4, 2007 10:08 PM
user 3826121
Canton, GA
Post #: 1
Don't take the power away from her, by trying to take over, she decided to tell you and I am sure that was a huge step and it gave her pwoer to do so. She chose to tell someone AWAY from her situation so that she could gain your support without beiing threatened by it... or judged...
This IS NOT happening to you, so think less about what is right for you and what you would do and think more about what she needs to get her to the place where she is empowered enough to make empowered decisions for herself with your support. If you are really her friend you will love and support her unconditionally, heal her in her pain and help her grow to a new place... this can take a life time. It is a journey only she can make, she walks in her shoes, ultimately alone. You have to find a different way to live with, grow with your own anguish. Good luck. if you need to contact me...
Iza
Posted Mar 5, 2007 4:04 PM
user 3807932
Katowice, PL
Post #: 2
Thank you for these pieces of advice, I really appreciate it.
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